I just finished going through the year book,actually I didn’t have the chance to look at it until now.Don’t know just saw it sitting in front of me,so I picked up and began to go through it.
Faces I don’t know, Faces of my dearest friends,Faces I love.Moments of joy,love,friendship,sadness,craziness,confusion,disappointments and more than I can describe.A whole life summed between the covers of a little book,that sums years that went so fast as if it never happened,but changed me so deep as if it was my whole life.
As if those faces were the only ones that I will ever see,as if those friends were the ones I will ever love and care for,as if those moments of failure were the last ones,as if those moments of joy were the best I will ever have.
Weired that when I was going through the pages of the year book,I had that thought or a wish that If I had the chance to go back again a lot of things would change, and a lot of words would be said,another me would be there.But the past will never be back, what’s left are my memories.
In the ending days of college I wrote something that was more like point at the end of a line, a point to you what those years were for me and what they made me, and I just thought I would share those words with you again.
Failure..Success..Friends..Love..broken..dark..confusion…Life; FCIS one more time
“For the first time writing in the blog feels weired, and searching for the right words feels like an impossible thing to do, after 2 days it will be the last official day of college, the last day in 4 years went so fast that the day I entered FCIS for the first time feels like yesterday.
Why I am writing this, am I writing this to say goodbye? no I don’t want it to be goodbye, am I writing it to save something I am afraid I will lost in time?? I really don’t know why I am writing this, but it this urging feeling that this is a stop I must write about, and one of the few times that what I write doesn’t make a big difference or doesn’t feel this important, I’ll even not gonna read it again after I finish, I’ll leave it with all the spelling mistakes and the stupid words that nobody understands, it will be just like it was wrote for first time.
I won’t tell you the most famous thing anybody says in such situation, that my moments in the college runs beside my eyes like a film, it’s so typical, but it’s so true.The fact that in two days I’ll leave this life I had for four years and go out to face my life strikes me, and make every single moment and memory and feeling that was born in this college runs through my head an heart.
I don’t know this feeling of sorrow coming out from the fear of the future or from leaving a familiar place and the faces inside it, or maybe a mix of both, but the feeling is true now, the whole period of the fourth year it felt away, even in the exams it was away, but now it’s real and here inside me.
With all what I wrote on this blog, it feels so hard to me to write about the people I knew in college, I can’t help when I think of something it comes to my head all the “typical” things that is said, and I don’t want that, it’s as I want to tell every single person of my friends and people I care for how I feel, how every single person of them owns a piece of the person I am now, so I won’t write about how I feel for them, I’ll just say for anybody who I have a little part inside their hearts that I have much more of respect,care and love for you.
In that place I found real love,I found care,friendship and compassion. I can say in that place I learned the most important lessons of my life, yes there were times of sadness and broken hearts, but it’s all part of the experience that made me the person I am today,even these sad times I happy I had because it taught me.
I don’t want this to be a goodbye, I know life will take us all diffrent places, but I hope at least I shall hear always good news about all of my friends isA, for me I’ll keep writing here until I forget how to write, and I hope I shall here all your great news here and this blog to be a place of meeting isA,I shall add a guest book for anybody who wants to write something, so for my latest news you will find it exclusively here !!!
In the end, I can proudly say I have seen the best these years can offer although all the hard times, I’ve seen the best through my friends and people I know, so I can’t find something to say more than..thank you for these awesome 4 years
take care all..isA it’s not goodbye..it’s just c ya latah